Learning to face, much less embrace life's struggles is hard. Really hard. But I've come to find beauty in the struggles that bring me to my knees because they push me into a space that I'd otherwise not experience.
Charles Spurgeon said "I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages." It is one of my favorite quotes because it challenges me to be thankful for the very things in life I have the hardest time accepting.
I hate that I can't get pregnant, but there has been no other struggle that has taken me to the feet of Jesus as often as this one. I can be thankful for these years of struggling with infertility because of how these times have made me utterly dependent on God. It's a posture I'd not have if not for this struggle that I can't control.
I go to Him to ask Him for a baby over and over (and over!) again. I go to Him with my sadness and He comforts me. I pray to Him asking for Him to show me what He wants for our family. It has made me even more aware of and thankful for the miracle He gave me when He gave me Jett. It has forced me to stop in the middle of all my planning and acknowledge that He is God and I'm not in control. It's created a new humility in me. It's reinforced the intimacy in my relationship with the Lord as I allow Him to care for me. It's been an opportunity to choose to trust Him and His plan for our family over my own.
I wear this cuff often as a reminder that there can be goodness in even the hardest trials we face, if we allow there to be. I will choose to be thankful, regardless of how this chapter ends, because it has thrown me against the Rock of Ages, and there is no safer place to be.